Open letter to UK travellers

Dear UK travellers,

Please visit Australia. We are a friendly bunch, with a continent full of unique wonders, and you get an embarrassingly fabulous exchange rate on your money.
Contrary to our Govt’s silly marketing, most Australians do not have “plastic” faces with collagen lips and botox smiles, but do expect a laugh and a cheeky grin under a layer of sunscreen.
Please also bring any mates who don’t speak English – modern Australia was made by millions of migrants from across the world, and an ancient Indigenous culture. Besides, interpreters can be handy as many of the most popular dishes in our world array of eateries have foreign names.
You won’t miss out on your favorite British breakfast tea but be prepared for arguably the best barista coffee outside of the Mediterranean.
Oh, do you like good wine and cold beer?

Yours sincerely,



Phnom Penh dispatches: Not unlike an Alabama catfish that’s been stunned numb and dumb by an electric eel, I’ve been thoroughly “therapied” by a blind massage therapist; my lumbar osteoarthritis pummelled into submission. Kneaded and prodded like Topolino’s pizza dough. Therapists obviously have varying degrees of blindness: one bloke has a flash Rolex wristwatch, and I catch my therapist with one hand working my arm while the other is checking messages on her mobile phone. $US7 an hour (for foreigners) and well worth it…